vax stares, gazing at essek when he smiles. he makes a mental note to commit that to memory, writing it in stone so he may never lose that joy in his expression. it feels real, it feels genuine. and maybe he really is helping, despite how useless he feels. his own hand on essek's face feels like a blemish in this image, in this frozen moment he wishes he could keep forever.
he doesn't realize he's breathless until he feels that rub at the tip of his ear again. he has to inhale to get himself back to earth, his eyes looking from essek to his arm, to his own hand, back up again. how long had he been staring?
"i don't think i have any expectations of you," he admits, grinning a little. "but i could say the same. back home, i was a brother, i was a boyfriend, i was a champion. i was reliable and sneaky and... i was a lot of things. as much comfort as i found in those things, it's nice to be here. it's simple."
"Mm," his smile shifts to amusement as Vax appears distracted for a moment, fingers still gently brushing against the edge of his ear. It's still only a fond, affectionate touch, occasionally dipping down to explore the hinge of his jaw, or hollow of his cheek.
"It is in some ways, isn't it? The things that may have been following us in Exandria that can no longer reach here. It's nice to have a bit of respite. And I feel happy, to have had the chance to meet you. It seems unlikely our paths would have crossed otherwise."
seeing essek smile had been such a beautiful sight that vax can't get it out of his mind. essek's hands on him are relaxing, soft, comforting, all the things he's needed since his arrival to the island. things have been easier than expected for him to swallow, and essek is one of those things.
so vax'ildan surges forward, crossing the space to catch essek in a soft but sudden kiss. he's tired of not kissing him, of letting him be so close without being close enough. he's upset about something, vax doesn't need to know what, but he does want to show him he doesn’t need to talk. he doesn’t need to open himself any more than he has to. vax is here, he’ll listen.
The pull between them feels magnetic, drawn inexplicably but yet so naturally toward one another. The kiss catches him a little off guard, but the tension that rises in surprise falls away immediately as Essek sinks into the kiss. Eyes closing, sighing softly in something like relief. His shoulders drop slightly, muscles unwinding.
...but then it coils again. The hand against Vax's cheek slips back, curling in dark hair at the nape of his neck to press him closer. The hand against his arm tightens and presses fingertips against warm skin. Pale brows knit together as he pushes into the kiss a little more, almost desperately. It's not edged or hard, but a subtle shift in intensity, clinging to the gentleness that's offered without question. Sometimes Essek still doesn't quite know what to do with it, suspicious still of intent when it comes from anyone but a handful of people. But he's learning.
vax'ildan recognizes the shift, because not too long ago, it was him that clung to whatever kindnesses he could find. it was vax that latched on to keyleth, his shining star in the dark. she showed him affection and forced his hand when he never wanted to play it, a fact that he resented at the time. he learned to appreciate it, to love it.
and now he's going to do the same thing for someone who might not want it.
vax keeps his pace steady, remembering what it felt like to need a rock. he returns essek's kisses, but with less intensity, providing him a hold to grip, a lip to lift himself up by. half elven hands hold his cheek, building a bridge to suspend for his friend.
take what you need, he doesn't say. i'm here for you.
It's relatively short-lived. The warm steadiness does much to quell the burst of immediate need, the search for an anchor point. It's hard to know what he wants lately, what feels right and what may not be. Even when he thinks his own intentions aren't wrong, it's sometimes still hard to know for sure. Vax feels right, but Essek knows he can't hold the truth from him for long. At the very least, he might hear it from one of the Nein, even if incidentally.
But for now, at least, he could find some comfort in a neutral but still familiar presence.
He breaks away with a soft sigh, leans forehead to cheek. Joining him on the couch seems more and more appealing, but there simply isn't enough room to be comfortable.
Essek huffs softly, amused at his own thoughts. "We must get you a room of your own."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
vax stares, gazing at essek when he smiles. he makes a mental note to commit that to memory, writing it in stone so he may never lose that joy in his expression. it feels real, it feels genuine. and maybe he really is helping, despite how useless he feels. his own hand on essek's face feels like a blemish in this image, in this frozen moment he wishes he could keep forever.
he doesn't realize he's breathless until he feels that rub at the tip of his ear again. he has to inhale to get himself back to earth, his eyes looking from essek to his arm, to his own hand, back up again. how long had he been staring?
"i don't think i have any expectations of you," he admits, grinning a little. "but i could say the same. back home, i was a brother, i was a boyfriend, i was a champion. i was reliable and sneaky and... i was a lot of things. as much comfort as i found in those things, it's nice to be here. it's simple."
no subject
"It is in some ways, isn't it? The things that may have been following us in Exandria that can no longer reach here. It's nice to have a bit of respite. And I feel happy, to have had the chance to meet you. It seems unlikely our paths would have crossed otherwise."
no subject
so vax'ildan surges forward, crossing the space to catch essek in a soft but sudden kiss. he's tired of not kissing him, of letting him be so close without being close enough. he's upset about something, vax doesn't need to know what, but he does want to show him he doesn’t need to talk. he doesn’t need to open himself any more than he has to. vax is here, he’ll listen.
he wants to kiss him.
no subject
...but then it coils again. The hand against Vax's cheek slips back, curling in dark hair at the nape of his neck to press him closer. The hand against his arm tightens and presses fingertips against warm skin. Pale brows knit together as he pushes into the kiss a little more, almost desperately. It's not edged or hard, but a subtle shift in intensity, clinging to the gentleness that's offered without question. Sometimes Essek still doesn't quite know what to do with it, suspicious still of intent when it comes from anyone but a handful of people. But he's learning.
no subject
and now he's going to do the same thing for someone who might not want it.
vax keeps his pace steady, remembering what it felt like to need a rock. he returns essek's kisses, but with less intensity, providing him a hold to grip, a lip to lift himself up by. half elven hands hold his cheek, building a bridge to suspend for his friend.
take what you need, he doesn't say. i'm here for you.
no subject
But for now, at least, he could find some comfort in a neutral but still familiar presence.
He breaks away with a soft sigh, leans forehead to cheek. Joining him on the couch seems more and more appealing, but there simply isn't enough room to be comfortable.
Essek huffs softly, amused at his own thoughts. "We must get you a room of your own."